Better late then never, eh? Well, to be fair, this was orginally my "About Me" blurb, but I found it too long and off-putting for that section. But not that I didn't want it said. So here it is, though since I'm giving myself more room, well, I've expanded.
Hi, I'm Karen. I don't live a remarkable life, and years of low self-esteem and battling depression left me often wondering what there is about me that others like. I'm finally starting to emerge. By that, I mean, "me", who was buried so deep down in my consciousness that I wondered if there was anything about me worth knowing, has finally been able to escape her shackles and came far enough out to say hi, pleased to meet you. And so begun an internal journey of self-discovery as I start to learn about myself.
A few things happened, almost all at once, and have ended up coalescing to form this blog.
I have MCS, which stands for Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. It's a term I've only recently learned. For years, I've lived with it known as a "perfume allergy". A change in job led me to learn more about this. It's actually a known disability, as it falls under Environmental Sensitivities. And while I always thought worst-case scenario was house-bound, turns out it could be having no one believe you and you end up jobless and homeless, with an arm's length list of symptoms that most doctors can't put together, and at best, misdiagnose you and put you on drugs that can harm you if you don't actually have that disease. Oh, joy. And so begins my journey to learn more about this, to find specialists, and find a means to live with it. Heck, maybe even find a husband willing to live with it, live in a home that won't poison me, and have children who won't disrespect it. Ah, dreams...
Last year, I took on my own little campaign to "fix me". It started innocently enough; I was helping a friend move a cabinet that really, I had no rights to think I could do. It fell and smacked me in the head. (I've heard of the universe slapping you upside the head when you get off your life path, but really, this was a bit much...). Well, that got me a concussion, a compression injury to the neck, and whiplash. Yes, all at once. I found myself doing regular chiropractor and massage, and decided, well, heck, while I'm at it, I might as well heal other things in myself too. And so, I've begun to explore what it is that makes me tick, and either embrace it if it's good or get it out of my life if it's bad. This begun with quitting smoking, and then, attempting to eat healthier, and exercise more. Turns out, my MCS may help guide me on a better path of that, and being on a better path may help ease my MCS...
You know how they say you can trust a fat cook? That obviously, they know good food? Well, this is one fat girl who ensures she has the phone handy in case of self-inflicted food poisoning. Ironically, I've been regularly following 2 cooking blogs for years. I've got a few recipes down, but the kitchen is still a place that leaves me confused, concerned, and amazed... But the budget, the waistline, my health, and sodium-induced swelling in my feet have caused me to realize I need to cook most of my meals and not rely on chemical-heavy pre-processed food.
As I start to learn more about myself, and try to research things on the Internet, I've found myself enjoying the Internet. I mean, the days of ICQ and dial-up and BBS's started in my teens. But while friends started swooning over the thing, I sat back and wondered what was so exciting about it. Ok, yah, it had it's uses. And it was cool to see it. But really, who wants to know so much? That was half a lifetime ago. Since then, I spent a few years in the call centre industry helping people get their connections back so they could go online. Other than it having it's uses, it still seemed little more than a glorified mall where girls could shop, men could find themselves porn in yet another method, sports and news could be followed in another form, and people could now see their bank balance other than having it disjointedly chimed off in your ear. And then something just fell into place in me, and now, now I have a favourites list that is long, and growing, as I find yet another thing I want to know more about.
And finally, as I follow more and more blogs, I found myself wanting to create one for myself. After a failed attempt, I went back to the drawing board, and asked: What are blogs? They are personal places where a person shares what they are passionate about. In the past, I've never considered myself truly passionate about any one subject, and my interests vary with my mood. And I also didn't think I was worth knowing. So, I decided that I needed to embrace an ego and simply put it out there what is I find interesting. That I would find ME in the balance between low self-esteem and narcissism.
So, I don't plan for this to be a cooking blog, or a blog about MCS, or a blog about other neat things happening on the web. Instead of picking one subject, I'm going to use this as a place to share all the little bits of things I've learned in over 15 years of customer service, of being the "non-techie tech" computer geek, of the craft work I enjoy, of the books I read and shows I watch, interesting websites I find, blogs I follow, and to share my story of introducing healthier living options, and of my ongoing fight against MCS. As well as anything else that grabs my interest along the way. And while you get to know me, or at least find a few useful things, I'm going to learn what makes me tick, and what makes me worth knowing.
Welcome to my life.
~Karen
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